Getting what you want in a negotiation

That applies to commercial contracts, agreements with partners and stakeholders, grant agreements, and much, much more. Here is a set of guidelines for negotiation.

In community groups you may have to do more negotiation than generally occurs in governments or companies, because you have to negotiate not only with your adversaries but also with the people on your own side. When you're working with volunteers you don't have access to either bribes or threats, and you can't order them to do anything they don't want to. You have to talk them in to it.

When you're negotiating on behalf of your organisation, you want to maximise gains and minimise losses. Here are some basic guidelines.

Know what you want, find out what they want

Know what your advantages are, and what you have that they might want.

Rehearse

Run through it beforehand with a partner playing the other side, just to get clear about what you'd do under different circumstances.

Look for the win-win

Negotiation isn't a game. In a game, only one side can win. In a negotiation, it's often possible to sidestep the current disagreement by thinking creatively until you can find a solution that suits both sides. Look for alternatives.

• Try and identify the choke points in a proposal, and then think of different approaches that don't include them.
• Look for items that aren't on the table that you can throw onto the scales. Some things - life memberships, committee places - are cheap for you but may be valuable to them.
• If you're in an argument with your members, something's probably gone wrong. This gives you a chance to fix your policies so it won't happen next time, and the other side may deserve some concession for pointing this out.

Open high

Ask yourself what's the most you could get out of the deal, and ask for it. You may conceivably get it, and if you don't the worst that happens is that the other side thinks they've beaten you down.

Be agreeable, but not accommodating

Listen more than you talk. Don't feel you have to say anything at all if the ball's in their court. Don't give away anything just to make them like you.

Be prepared to settle

Negotiation isn't a game. People enjoy playing games. Making nuisances go away is a good outcome, but it's not enjoyable. Just by making you waste your time coming to them, the other party has shown they can hurt you, and if you have to concede something to make them stop you'll still break even.

Go for the money, not for the win

Negotiation isn't a game. In a game all that matters is who gets the trophy at the end. In the real world, what matters is what happens after that. If you get what you want out of the deal, don't get hung up about who gets the credit.

Don't get personal

You're speaking for the group here, which means that your ego isn't one of the negotiators. You're not 'backing down', for example, you're maximising your possible gains in an unfavourable situation.

Don't negotiate against yourself

If your offer isn't accepted, don't make a more generous offer - ask for their proposal and work from there. At the worst, you'll get some information out of it; at best, they may not go as low as you would have.

Know when to walk away

You have to go into the room with a fairly good idea of what will happen if you can't come to an agreement.

• How much trouble are you going to be landed with?
• Are you going to be stuck with any costs?
• Are you going to be back again next week?

If you've got that straight, you can put a floor on what you're willing to discuss. Anything that leaves you worse off than a walkout is off the table. And anything that seriously compromises your mission has to be ruled out too. Don't make a deal just for the sake of making a deal.

Remain ethical

Don't lie, and don't renege on an agreement.

Use the moral high ground

You represent a good cause, an important cause. Make sure they know that, and that they know that's why you can't compromise on the important things. It can't hurt, and they might pull their punches a little, and it may remind them that you'd be seen as the good guy if anyone had to go public.

And remember, it really isn't a game. Games don't matter. If every single athletic contest in Australia in 2012 had ended differently, nothing would have changed in the world. That's not true for you; your group is doing good work, and if you lose this you'll have to do less of it.