Tips for resolving conflict
Conflict is something which has the potential to tear any organisation apart. Here are some of the personality traits which drive conflict, as well as ways it can be resolved.
What is conflict?
What is conflict? There are many definitions of conflict, but one I would like to focus on is this:
"Conflict occurs as a result of a perceived divergence of interest or a belief that the current parties' aspirations can't be met simultaneously."
I've emphasised the word "perceived" because a lot of conflict is about perception rather than reality.
Of course conflict isn't necessarily counter-productive. Thomas Huxley said that "every great advance in natural knowledge has involved the absolute rejection of authority".
With this context in mind we do need to challenge things and ask questions because conflict can be productive in its own way if we don't let it take over, and if:
- People respect each other.
- People trust each other.
- People understand each other.
Or if people respect and trust and understand the chair as an honest broker.
Levels of conflict
Conflict generally occurs over:
- Substantive issues - different perceptions of facts.
- Procedural issues - the way things have happened.
- Psychological issues - impact on people's feelings.
Most instances of conflict don't just appear - they build up over time at your board table. And some of it is subtle enough to miss.
The diagram below shows how conflict can progress.
Each conflict is different, but each probably follows a course similar to that above; even if some might skip a step or two.
Conflict might start with a situation where nothing is said, but a problem is "sensed".
In the board decision making process, the sign for me that I'm about to breach my director's duties is that I find myself squirming in my seat. That is a symptom, and as a chair it is a pretty good sign that people aren't comfortable with something.
If you are about to make a decision and you see people squirming, pick up on it. If you deal with the problem at that stage it's less likely to turn into a crisis.
You're not going to ever please everyone all the time. But at least if you've picked up the squirming, gone through the issue and tried to do something about it, the conflict has less chance of escalating.
If it does escalate, the next step in conflict is where an incident could occur.
While the exchange might be short and sharp, feelings might linger in the background: "That one's gone in the memory bank, and I'll get you, just you wait."
It means people's thoughts keep returning to the problem. And from there we can follow the curve and see what happens next.
The chair's role
There are some key skills the chair can use in dealing with and/or resolving conflict:
Questioning
- Use open questions.
- Closed questions invite yes/no responses and end the exchange.
- Open questions begin with:
- How, what, when, where, who…
- Tell me about …
- How do you feel about?
Listening
- Listening is a skill that can be learned and improved.
- Examine what good listeners do and use these techniques.
- Ask: What are the impacts of good listening?
Employ the reflective listening technique.
Reframing
- Be "hard" on the issues, but "soft" on the person.
- Move from:
- Person to problem.
- Positions to interests.
- Past to future.
- Use neutral language and "I" statements.
- Describe the speaker's feelings, not the other person's.
Board evaluation and effectiveness
Board effectiveness can be enhanced if the board is able to develop strategies to ensure that all its roles are carried out, as well as reviewing its performance on an annual basis.